Today is my birthday, I am 36 years young and mum, and most importantly a proud solo parent by choice. As I sit here reflecting on blowing my candles out, my mind was not on the gifts or the cake. It’s drifting back exactly six years to the day I picked up the phone and made “The Call.”
The phone call
Six years ago today, I decided to start the journey of IVF combined with PGD (Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis). At the time, it was a very complex situation as we had also just started Covid. I always said if i was still single and not met the one by the time I was 30, I would create my dream myself. I knew IVF with PGD was the only realistic way to ensure my future child wouldn’t inherit NF1.
Whilst I am not against disabilities in the slightest. What I do not want is the risk of my child to be in pain continuously and having endless operations and everything else I have had. It has not been fun, whilst I have fought through it with a smile – Deep down experiences have scared me. However, they have shaped me. Every day is a struggle with my health so I would just not want that risk on a child and the NHS is so under resourced who knows what it will be like when my child requires help. My NHS app says ’20 weeks’ for an operation and pre-pandemic we were on ‘week 48’..
Reflection
Anyway, as I write this, I am looking across the room at a vibrant, healthy three-year-old boy. It is absolutely wild to think that six years ago, he was just a hope, a phone call, and a series of scientific possibilities. He is my complete world and I am grateful for technology, doctors and PGD and I am blessed that it did work for me first time. Whilst it did not work in September 2026, which I am coming to terms with. I know that right now I can give Miles my complete 100% love and affection.
Solo parent by choice is amazing! I navigate and learn every day and I am fully accountable for him. All decisions are being made by me, there is no one to bounce ideas off – for the first time I am trusting my gut instincts. I am building my village and I want to build one for you.